Sonogram Photos

We had our sonogram on Friday and it is a healthy baby!!!!

 

Can you guess what it is?  Result on last two pictures.

 

 

Photos from Fall Fest

Here are some photos from the fall festival that was a few weeks ago.  They had a blast!!!!

Here is a photo of Rodger with Minnie ears!!!  Rodger likes to say how adorable he is :)

 

 

Here is one of the little apple picker.

 





 



This weekend's activities

This weekend was very busy for us all.  Saturday, David and Kyla (our niece) went hunting for the first time.  They did not catch anything but it gave Kyla some good experience.  I took the kids to Lilah's dance class and they raised some terror there!  Afterwards, the whole family went to the trick or treat in Mt. Airy, and they were all in costumes.  They were all so precious and energetic that I completely forgot to take pictures!  Oh well, at least I can take pictures during Halloween.

I cannot believe how fast everyone is growing that is seems like yesterday I had Lilah as a newborn.  It seems like she is growing up too fast and one day soon instead of acting like she's a teenage she really will be one.  I'm still trying to figure out how David and I are going to deal with her growing up (not that we have much of a choice).  Rodger is so sweet, I wish he would stay my baby forever.

How do you possibly savor all the moments with them, even the ones where you want to pull your hair out?  Maybe one day we will learn.

Coming to an end of one section and beginning another...

We are coming to the end of our foster parent approval process.  It has been a journey being foster parents and being approved.  It is different because we had the child before we were approved or had classes; we learned a lot along the way, and it is never an easy process to learn.  I do think I learned some things from the process of what is expected of us.  It is mind boggling the standards that Social Services will hold foster parents to but not expect much of biological parents.  Everything is a lot of stress too.  Social Services will research your relationships, your life, who your friends are, your job, your ideology, and how you raise your children.  Everything about you is information open to them.

Ultimately, we shall see where it leads us.  Which it will be with us adopting or saying goodbye we do not know.  It is an adventure we signed up for and will continue to see to the end.  As David puts it, even if we do not get to adopt, we hope that whatever influence we have on her now will help them through what they will go through in the future.

Today is the Day

Today is the day, our last night of foster parent training.  This month has definitely been taxing for us.  We had a few big changes.  We changed day cares this week, we have been doing this training for the month, and we have been trusting two people with our children.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor for a regular OB appointment.  They need to find the fetal heartbeat and check my stomach measurement.  Well, they only checked for the fetal heartbeat and could not find it so they did a sonogram.  Once she looked at the sonogram (found the heartbeat and baby was moving), she insisted I needed some tests done that day.  They were looking for some neural tubal birth defects, some other defects, and gestational diabetes.   Nevertheless, David was lovely and came home early from work so I could get the testing done.  That should most likely come back normal and we shall be on our way to a normal healthy baby.

UPDATE:  Tests were completely normal!

The kids seem to be adjusting to the new day care and doing well there.  It is nice Lilah and Rodger are not currently arguing most of the ride about not going there.  They seem to like her, and Miss Debbie seems to enjoy them.  They are all excited in the morning to go there, help feed Peaches the fish, and feed the dogs.  They are also getting a lot more time outside compared to what they are used to getting.  I am definitely glad they are adjusting to their new environment better and it does seem they like the new day care better.  I feel a lot more comforted when I see they are happier in their environment.  Today though, because Rodger was tired, he was upset I was leaving because he wanted to snuggle with me.  I love their hug goodbyes so much; though, Lilah tries to bypass the hug and go about her business for the day.

The foster parent training has been interesting at times, boring at others, and really depressing sometimes.  It is interesting some of the facts you learn about foster children and their families.  Sometimes, David and I debate whether we would want to do it in the future with other children, and other times some of the issues that occur just do not seem like it is worth it.  It is interesting when you foster a child, the difference in people’s reactions give the child.

This weekend it looks like we are going to the Mt. Airy Fall Festival!  It is nice to have all these celebrations to go to with the family.  I think the kids are going to have a lot of fun doing it and running around with everyone.  I will definitely post some pictures.

Halloween Pictures 2014!!!!!

Hello all,

Here are some Halloween pictures we just did with the kids in their costumes (yes I know it is September but I like head starts).  I cannot post group photos for obvious reasons but here are most of them.  They all did a fantastic job; Lilah loved being the princess and she enjoyed getting her picture taken, and Rodger was not a big fan of group pictures but he enjoyed his solos and yelled “RAWR” with lots of smiles.

Without further hesitation, here are the photos!!!!

 









Whatever shall we do with all the changes in our lives????

It has been a while since I updated but I wanted to let you all know there have been so many changes in our lives I have not been able to keep up. First, we are now becoming official foster parents for a relative’s child but we are already taking care of said child. If you are wondering, we cannot post anything regarding said child on social media (one of the rules from Department of Social Services).

Second, we are pregnant! We need to keep things interesting in the family. We are due March 5^thbut we shall see when the cesarean is scheduled. I am doomed unless I go into labor beforehand and then I will show up at the hospital and be like “WHAT! I didn’t know I was in labor!” Everything has been going well with us other than adjusting to all these changes in our lives.

Lilah is talking more and she is the sweetest child ever. I cannot believe how amazing she has been these last few months. Rodger is walking, talking, and getting things together. They both have adapted wonderfully to all the changes in their lives. Rodger is obsessed with pointing to my stomach and saying “baby” and kissing it. I was really looking at them yesterday and I got so upset because of how big they got. It was not that long ago they were snuggly in my arms. I really wish they would stop growing so much! Rodger definitely is not a baby anymore. Lilah is exceling and she already has the knowledge base for a kindergartener. She really likes doing her workbooks but she tries to be lazy about how she finishes sometimes. Rodger is speaking in sentences and we are working on using manners with him, and he needs to do workbooks while Lilah is doing them, so, we give him a coloring book to use. We signed them up for ABCMouse.com, and so far, it has been a lot of fun for them. In order to combat our frustration that they like to click everywhere and do not fully comprehend how to use a mouse, we got them a toddler mouse that only has one button. Lilah is better able to use that but it is still beyond Rodger’s ability.

Adjusting to becoming foster parents has been interesting as well. It can be a little frustrating because we decided to open our lives and there are many regulations and the process makes things difficult. Another problem is there is not a lot of research on relative foster care, or foster care in general. Most sociological and psychological studies are completed in adoption but that does not necessarily transfer over to the foster care system. If you know me, I find comfort in research and I love statistics because they help me understand concepts.

Caring for a relative’s child in this situation brings a new light to the idea of foster care. In some ways, it is easier because you have more details on the child and have more knowledge about the situation at hand. In other ways, it can be more difficult because you are dealing with family, and if the biological parents are not easy people, it can create issues for your family because of the stress they cause. Sometimes, the situation can become so difficult between the biological parents and the relative/foster parents, Social Services will remove the child and place it with a regular foster family to prevent further tension.

After you start taking classes and learn the rules, lines become blurred as a foster parent as compared to when you were a relative, and you have to follow the rules even when you do not know they exist. In Maryland, you cannot post on social media, talk to a doctor/teacher/any kind of professional, cut the child’s hair without biological parent permission, name/baptize the child, and an assortment of rules. I understand why the rules are there, it is little frustrating because it rather prevents you from treating the child completely as your own but Social Services says they want you to treat the child as your own. I do feel guilty when I post pictures or videos of Lilah and Rodger or I need to crop out others from it. Therefore, I end of posting less because it is almost like I am being forced to not treat them as equal, but I know they are all equal to David and I.

In these classes, you watch several videos where older foster children speak about what their experiences are with the system. Some of them moved 50 times throughout their stay in foster care. Others mentioned how foster parents treated them differently. Or their foster parents would say these are my foster kids and these are my real kids. I can only imagine how that would feel for that child. I know it is difficult for me when I introduce all the kids because the situation is so confusing. I also do not want to lie to others, and really, to myself that the situation of taking care of this child, treating this little person as my own, with Lilah and Rodger treating her as a sister, is not permanent. That is the most difficult concept I have trouble with Social Services. It is not all the questions about our lives, how we raise our children, our relationship, what we make, or everything else. It is the fact that we are putting all our love and attention into this person and it might not be forever.

There truly does need to be more research done on this subject so Social Services can counsel foster family members better on how to navigate the relationship they have with biological parents. David and I are trying to understand the system, what we are supposed to do, what we are not supposed to do, and sometimes there are no clear-cut answers.

One thing I truly do wish for my children is I hope they all grow up feeling loved and wanted. I hope with our growing family (and hopefully it will stop growing) that everyone gets their needs met and they all grow up to be wonderful adults who make good choices. I am excited to meet this new little person in March and I hope all the kids adjust well. Lilah and Rodger really want a little sister (but I think Rodger is copying Lilah). It should be interesting if they get their wish. Poor, poor Rodger, only boy in a sea of girls.